Nick P on ... "She's the Man"

She’s way too good at beach soccer. No one’s good at beach soccer. Not even soccer players are good at beach soccer. [Me: How do you know that?] Because I’ve been on a beach once!

...

Everyone who’s playing soccer is ridiculously good looking. That’s not realistic.

DRAMAAAAAA!

 

I can see why we’re watching this movie, hon.

This is ridiculous. Nobody would ever think she was a guy. This movie is preposterous.   

I need at least 3 more beers to watch this.

[At the kissing booth:]  Sounds like a good way to get hepatitis. 

Hilarious! They hit the guy with the thing! 

  This is so awkward! All the awkward. Girls and guys, and girls as guys. 

That’s pretty much my experience. Screw you guys, I hate high school.  

 

They have couches in women’s rooms?

Oh my god, it’s like soccer is a sport people care about. That’s how I know this movie is fiction.

Nick P On ... "Frozen"

It didn't take long for Nick to make his opinions known ... just as long as the opening credits.

Fuck you, Steamboat Willie. You’re the reason copyright is such a disaster, you steamboat-driving bastard.

Oh my god, she’s like a cat.

What the fuck just happened?

Aw, not a fuckin' musical!

This is nice, but it’s no Under the Sea.

...

Alright, they’re doing a breakdown now so I gotta listen.

Wait, wait – hilarious horse thing. Hilarious horse thing!

...

I told you!

He’s like perfect, and she’s like Zooey Deschanel: “I’m pretty, but I’m WEIRD!” 

If she rhymes that with snow, I swear to God …

Oh, Disney, you make hypothermia cute.  

That rope was a convenient thing to be on the reindeer and not in the sled.

My name is that guy, and I have the physics of a snowman.

You guys are standing in the ocean … you should probably get out of there.  

  Oh good, a ship ... how convenient.

[After Kristoff is named Official Ice Master and Deliverer:] 

Official ice deliverer … fucking government monopoly.